I have suffered with anxiety now for about 3 years and when I first received that ‘diagnosis’ I did feel a bit all over the place. In hindsight I can now see that the relationship with my inner self was broken. I couldn’t predict how I would feel or react and I also felt like I was always on edge and found it really difficult to relax. Luckily, I have come a long way since that time and I can definitely notice how the growth I have achieved has helped to repair the relationship I have with myself. But as we all know; mental health issues are an ongoing battle. There is no quick fix and poof it goes away like a virus. So, one of the main issues I have been suffering with more recently is feeling inadequate to achieve my goals. Now this is not something that is just limited to people with anxiety. There are so many reasons that can cause you to doubt yourself. Changing careers, becoming a parent, taking a risk…
I came across the term imposter syndrome during a lecture at my university. To cut a long story short it means that an individual doubts their accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a “fraud”. As I’ve grown older and progressed through my career, I’ve become aware that this is a problem that has plagued me every day. I’d reached a point where I had to admit to myself that I was actually quite scared of manifesting my goals. One of those goals is getting a degree. And as my time at university has passed I find myself second guessing my ability to perform in an academic setting. Despite the fact that my grades have been consistent and I’m doing well. I decided to speak to an academic at my university about how I was feeling, to which she replied ‘ it’s quite a common problem that a lot of women suffer from, especially BAME women’
I went away from that conversation thinking why do us women feel the need to self criticise and constantly compare ourselves to others. Through this turning point I realised that I need to start being my own fan and reassure myself that I am capable of handling the next stages of adulthood😂 As I’m quite a visual person I thought that I could starting putting up some motivational quotes on my walls to be a constant visual reminder to stay focused mentally. It’s very easy to think of a plan whether it be big or small, or evening approaching a meeting, work event. To get caught up in the mindset of ‘will these people like me? can I actually pull this of? What if it goes completely wrong? You have to try and get out of that mindset and push through.
So I will now be focusing on being my own biggest fan to build my confidence up. A lot of the time we focus so much on external relationships and situations and end up pushing ourselves to the background. It’s about convincing yourself that you are capable to achieving these goals or making changes in your life.
Saying that, clearly I have not mastered this skill yet myself so it’s a learning curve for us all.
What would you suggest to help minimise imposter syndrome, comment below!